Things I have recently overheard, and how I feel about them
I am remembering these conversations to the best of my ability.
Girl at coffee shop talking with friend:
Girl 1: Ugh, he keeps texting me. Get away, creeper.
Girl 2: Who is that? Derek?
Girl 1: Yeah.
Girl 2: Didn’t you two go out the other night?
Girl 1: Yeah, and in the morning he kept trying to get me to stay longer, but I had to (inaudible)
Girl 2: (Laughs) you went to Mark’s right after?!
Girl 1: Yep (GIGGLEZZZ)
Girl 2: (Reciprocal GIGGLEZZZ)
Basically this girl is banging some dude named Derek, and finds the fact that he has shown a somewhat strong emotional response for her makes him a “creeper.” At first, I thought, “This guy is texting that girl that he met and she doesn’t like him OH WAIT she just spent the night at his apartment, probably with her vagina. Then she went to another dudes house, and you know she brought her vagina to that shit. Then they shared a giggle. It’s girls like these that make me afraid to text anyone.
Fuck it, I hate Derek too.
Two guys STRAIGHT CHILLIN on patio bar
Male A: Affliction is gay, Ed Hardy shit is so much more…I don’t want to sound gay, but it’s like, artistic.
Male B: You only think Affliction is gay because you’re a pussy. I don’t give a shit if people hate dudes who wear it, it’s fucking cool. If you hate it, say that shit to my face.
Male A: I’m a big fucking stupid idiot.
Male B: I’m also a fucking moron who doesn’t need to exist.
I don’t know if I’m remembering the last part correctly.
Homeless woman walking down the street:
HW: IF I FART NEEDLES ONTO A PILE OF ANTS YOU WILL ALL SEE THAT XANTHOR’S GIRAFFE ANUS CAN ENVELOP ALL THE HATRED IN THE WORLD.